i've been wondering the same thing myself. for a long time, i wasn't feeling like myself. things were off, i was reclusive, and it felt disingenuous to come on here and pretend like everything was ok.
quite honestly, all of that doesn't really matter anymore. i'm out on the other side, feeling a lot more like myself and feel really ready to come back here.
a lot of my life goes really quickly. i work seven days a week, i'm on the go, i'm running, i'm moving. and i'm starting to learn that maybe i need to take things a bit slower. not with trepidation or because i'm scared, but because i need to protect myself.
i'm protecting myself from my high expectations, and the crushing feeling of defeat that comes when i don't hit them. i'm protecting myself from the expectations and prying eyes of others. because it's come to my attention that the second things seem a bit off, you can be put under a microscope. having everything i do monitored and measured is stressful and painful and makes me more recluse.
so i'm taking things slow, in a lot of aspects of my life. i've always taken developing friendships and relationships (professional and personal) pretty slowly, and now i'm even slowing that down. because as i approach 30, i'm starting to realize that quality over quantity is real and present. it's great to have friends and plans, but true deep relationships should be cherished and nourished. and, realistically, it's very difficult to do that with too many people. so i'm spending a lot of my time putting my energy into relationships that are beneficial for me.
i like a slower pace of life. i like being able to take things leisurely. i'm lucky that i have the time and the space to do that. that i'm afforded the type of lifestyle where i can do that. that i have people in my life who are supportive of this.
if you've made it to the end of this, congrats. if you've actually been wondering where i've been, i went to vegas recently. here are some of my favorite pictures i took while i was there.