on social media + cutting negativity

one of the ways i'm working on making active change in my life is cutting out negativity. and where does a lot of negativity stem from these days? social media.
madeline heising photography
it's no secret that i love social media. i love sharing funny quips on twitter (or general thoughts on pizza), silly stuff on snapchat and the prettiest parts of my life on instagram. but the comparison game is real and alive, and social media often plays a role in that. you know those people you follow because you feel you ought to, but every time you see their photos you groan or have a negative thought? stop. following. those. people.

i'm challenging you to cut the negativity. i read a post on wit & delight called "pride & prejudice in the instagram era" and it inspired me to stop following people who make me feel...meh. people who i kept following because everyone was, but i didn't actually like their content. people whose glamorous lives didn't fill me with wanderlust, but envy.

i stopped following those people because it seems silly to actively put negative energy in my life.it seemed silly to constantly put myself in a state of jealousy or annoyance. a self-imposed cycle of bad vibes. so i stopped. i hit unfollow, i muted people on facebook. and you know what? the world didn't stop turning. no one called me to tell me i'm a terrible person. as far as i know, no one hates me (at least for this). everything kept going, and so did i.

and now i can keep going even stronger. because now there's one less thing to make me feel shitty throughout my days. and that's a pretty powerful feeling. so i challenge you to do the same. unfollow those people who boil your blood. who make you feel less than. who just don't add anything good to your days. because ain't nobody got time for that in 2017.

on creating change + a recap of 2016

this post is several days delayed for a few reasons. i finally had some time to myself to relax and i disconnected from my laptop, which i desperately needed. i also kicked off 2017 with a bout of food poisoning and overall fatigue so, ya know. win some, lose some. or something. but 2017 is all about change for me.
i often think that we don't actively pursue change. i think a lot of the time, we allow change to roll over us and work our way through it and at the end find ourselves changed. but what about active change? change that we control and decide for ourselves?

i've made a lot of effort to actively change myself over the last year. to stop "acting" a certain way, and start behaving like myself. to accept myself as i am, flaws and all. i've stopped hiding how i feel and instead am working on actively letting people know what i'm feeling in the moment. i've spent so much time harboring feelings and making myself feel bad for them, and i'm tired of it. so it's a year of change.

i also thought it might be worthwhile to take a look back at 2016 as a whole. it was terrible and great, soul crushing and enriching all at once.

48 hours in paris

i never thought i wanted to go to paris.

it seems sacrilegious to write that, but it's the truth. i didn't feel the draw to paris. i felt a draw to burgundy, to bordeaux. to the countryside. but paris? it didn't do it for me. so when i started planning my european vacation to tack onto the end of my work trip to berlin, i struggled with where to go. traveling within the EU is relatively inexpensive, and i figured if the main part of my travel was taken care of, it was a good time to see what the fuss of paris was all about. so i booked just over 48 hours in paris.

links lately

so you're telling me it's december? this is insanity. i have just a few weeks left to get gifts and it moderately stresses me out but it also means holiday lights and winter strolls and CHRISTMAS SONGS so bestill my heart.
+ if you're looking for fun things to do this weekend, airbnb created a list of things to do in boston and restaurants to visit, curated by locals! lot of super good recommendations in there.

+ it's no secret that i love ina gartn a lot. like a lot a lot. this in-depth interview with her is everything i've ever dreamed of.

+ joe biden eats ice cream is the best tumblr i've found in a long long time.

+ i posted this on my personal facebook earlier this week, but texas is now requiring burials or cremations for aborted fetuses. this is a gross invasion of a woman's personal health care decision, and it disgusts me to no end.

+ the hawthorne, one of my favorite bars in boston, is hosting its annual holiday pop up! it started last monday, but i'll be there this monday sipping on some lovely bevvies and getting some of my christmas shopping out of the way. hope to see you there!

+ keep an eye on the blog next week! i'll be releasing a few fun things, including my first installment in my healthy makeup series, and my guide to 48 hours in paris!

i hope you all have a lovely weekend!

on clean makeup (a primer)

eh possibly a shocker for some, but maybe not for others, but i love makeup. i don't wear it all the time, but i appreciate how it can polish a look and accentuate your best features. i've been playing with makeup for years; in college, i was always helping my friends with their makeup before we went out. i did my own makeup for every prom and formal. i'm definitely not an expert, but i've learned a lot about makeup and applying it in my ~15 years of wearing it.
and now that i've been at follain for 18 months, i feel like i've learned that much more about healthy makeup and how to use it well. when it comes to natural makeup, there are a few important things to keep in mind.

on finding intention (+ links)

the holiday season has crept up rather quickly and quietly this year, but here we are a few days before thanksgiving, the official kickoff to the holiday season. from here until new years eve, it feels like we're in a sprint to the finish.
my whole goal for this year has been re-centering and slowing down, and i'm trying to implement that now more than ever. i don't want to spend the rest of 2016 frazzled and stressed. so i'm trying to find grace in everything i do. being graceful and gracious. having intention behind my actions. i don't want to do things this holiday season just to do it. i want to do things because it matters. it matters to me, to other people, and it adds something to the world.

i'm going to be launching a series of gift guides soon, and the underlying theme will be intention. because i don't know about you, but i'm too old for gifts for the sake of gifts. plus i live in a studio and i don't have room for shit. so. intention. be on the lookout!

and since this is a short week and i'm still battling jetlag from my trip (more on that soon too!), here are some links to lead you into the holiday weekend!

 + shopping psa: 25% off your whole madewell purchase with the code thatsale. i have my eyes on this madwell x sezane dress.

+ have you ever seen an upside down christmas tree? they're really cool, and we wrote allllll about the history of them at work. 10/10 do recommend checking it out ;)

+ i bookmarked this article about photographer devin allen, but i haven't had a chance to read it yet. i'm hoping to get through it this weekend.

+ stretching is super important, and this week's b/spoke journal article is all about the best stretches to incorporate into your daily routine. also! if you want to grab a class this holiday season, your first class is on me with the code GUESTOFBYER. let's spin together!

+ um also i'm jonesing for these glitter flats from j.crew for holiday. gimme.

have a wonderful thanksgiving!

the one question that changed how i live my life (#Ownyourtomorrow)

you know, it's true what they say: life is just too damn short. i've been experiencing that feeling a lot lately, and it's forcing me to reevaluate how i want to spend my days. and there's been one question that's been guiding me to this very moment.

am i doing everything i can to make myself happy?

for a very long time, i wasn't focusing on myself and what makes me happy. rather, i was trying my hardest to make everyone else happy, and using that was fuel for my happiness. but making other people doesn't really make me happy.

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