perfect is an illusion

I'm already submerged back into the week, trying to stay afloat with new projects, content and ideas for things to do. It can be overwhelming, having so much newnewnew being thrust in my face. I feel like I have to be the best at everything and make sure everything I do is perfect. I've been this way my whole life. And sometimes I've let my determination to be perfect beat me into a hole.

Sometimes it's hard to look around and realize that perfection is an illusion. It's unattainable. Nothing is ever perfect. Especially when it comes to myself and the work I produce, that's a reality I never wanted to see.

And then I stumbled across this article from CNN yesterday. And it felt like a slap of words to the face. It's everything I've tried to tell myself for years, written down in words for the world to see. It's everything I couldn't verbalize verbalized. It's the things I wish I could say to myself and believe. And here's what truly touched me:

Here's what is truly at the heart of whole-heartedness: Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.

Yeah. It's very easy to say, "I deserve to be loved," but it's very different to actually believe it. To internalize it and to accept it on a daily basis. But it's something that I desperately want.

So this is me, telling you that I'm going to take a stand to start believing that I, with all of my imperfections and quirks, am enough. And I'll always be enough.

In other (notsoserious) news, my spin instructor clearly did not read my letter from last week and sufficiently kicked my ass again. Ouch.