letting my mind get the best of me

My mind has been racing lately. Anxiety levels have been high over the past few days, and I've been on the brink of tears more times than I care to count. I guess that's just part of the game, of being a twenty-something. Some days you're up, some days you're down.

It changes in the blink of an eye. Moods. Feelings. They all just continuously change. Even from moment to moment, you can feel different.

Is that normal? Am I normal? Do I really care how normal I am?

I don't know. I don't know a lot of things. But I do know that I'm letting little things stress me out. I'm letting all of the little things continue to build. And now I'm just trying to let it all out.

I guess sometimes I want to build up this wall that everything's all ok and peachy over here. But realistically, it's not. Things get tough and I get sad and I cry. It's nothing really to be ashamed of. It's just a part of who I am. My anxiety is part of who I am. And I need to learn how to really start dealing with it in the real world.

So here I am. Trying to deal with it. It's tough.

But you know, I'm a lucky girl. Because at least at the end of the day I can come home to my own home, to someone who loves me and loving looks from my furry friend.

17 comments:

  1. Homegirl, I am right there with you. I have a strange feeling today.

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  2. Girl.

    Anxiety is awful.

    If I can devote an entire blog post to feeling like a plastic bag.. out of the middle of nowhere, then you can bet your life I know what you're talking about.

    Being a girl is the worst, but I'd rather be a girl then a boy every single day of the week.

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  3. life is tough; it's full of stress and anxiety... and during my early to mid 20s was when it was the toughest. i can tell you, though, that it's all in how you cope with it. direct your energy toward positive outlets rather than thinking about it. because ultimately, everything does find its balance in the end. if it doesn't - it's not the end yet :) p.s. i really enjoy your blog. i hope we can connect!

    your newest follower,
    http://theymaysaythatimadreamer.blogspot.com

    (it's not a food, fashion/beauty, thrifting, travel, photography, books/film or any just-one-thing-blog. it's random, lacks direction - but nonetheless mirror images the pieces of me and helps document my interests and phases :) come by!)

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  4. what a sweet sweet pup you have!!!

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  5. girl, you are NOT alone! I try my hardest to just embrace all that is thrown at me, and know that everything that happens is making me a stronger person.

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  6. Oh gosh. I wanna come through the computer and hug you. I get you, girl! I'm a really anxious person, too, but I've tried to turn the nervous energy and any sense of fear into something that motivates me. If it scares me, I should do it. But yeah, after I found out I didn't get that teaching thing, I can't shake this sense of impending doom. What am I going to do with my life??

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  7. i totally feel ya sister....
    i may or may not have cried a total of 6 or so times since being back in BR and ive only been here for a week and 3 days...

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  8. I can totally relate chica...the twenties are a roller coaster aren't they? xoxo

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  9. Lady friend you are the most normal. I hate feelings like that, in a bit of similar slump myself right now, but I know they will always come and go. You are so strong, and remember you are alwaysss allowed to cry. On my shoulder too if you need it! xx

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  10. Praying for you :) I had anxiety for a good year, and whenever that happens I know it's because I'm doing something that isn't supposed to be. How's your new job?!

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  11. I'm kind of in a slump too, and I'm sorry to hear that you are :-(
    I still get anxiety pretty often, but it mostly manifests through OCD.. or hives.. but when I used to get it, I'd have full blown attacks and end up in the back of an ambulance on oxygen being shot with a tranquilizer. Yepp, it was pretty bad. anxiety SUCKS.
    I'm always here if you need to talk. annnd I'm literally always here if you wanna go grab a cupcake after work. or even just a tea. or an adult beverage. lol.

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  12. I wish I could say something comforting, but as you know, I'm in a similar place right now and I'm not sure what to do myself. Unlike me, however, you have such an optimistic attitude and I know that you will find yourself out of this slump soon. You're wonderful, don't forget it! :D

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  13. Yo lady,
    20's are weird and challenging and get the best of everyone sometimes. We all deal with our ish and how it gets to us and we manifest it and let it out differently makes us people.
    You certainly shouldn't feel little or alone. FC Greenstorm thinks you is awesome.
    Much love,
    JP

    Run soon?

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  14. amen.
    it's worse when little things build up all the time, but they do. i stress about the little things all the time. it's ridiculous how dramatic i can be. but your last few sentences are true. even though there's stress and anxiety and crap going on in this world, all we need is love and it somehow makes everything more manageable.

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  15. You rock me my freakin world, Alex.

    I love that you're embracing yourself wholeheartedly as the amazing, sweet, talented, funny, and vulnerable person that you are!

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  16. Just now seeing this {I know, I'm sooo behind} and I just want you to know you're certainly not alone. I love that you're open and honest on here. I have also been letting so many little things stress me out lately. Yesterday all day I was super happy and excited and thrilled about life and then, bam... anxiety sets in and everything changes.

    Don't you just hate that? But, I'm glad I'm not alone because, believe me, when I'm going through those moments, I'm usually like... UGH! What's wrong with me? No one else probably thinks/feels/acts this way. I guess that's just life! Sending you a big ole hug!! :) xoxo

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  17. I swear these times (mid to late 20s) are such a roller coaster! I felt like I was in serious limbo for a couple years, went to grad school and am now starting to feel settled in some ways, but have so many more "areas" that stress me out still. Cheers to surrounding ourselves with those who love us and sometimes taking the time to cry it out. ;)

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Oh, herro there.

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