i'm ok

Hi everyone. I know many of you have seen the news that today's Boston Marathon was ruined by a bomb explosion around 2:50pm at the finish line. At that time, I was climbing Heartbreak Hill, and thankfully very far from the scene. However, I am deeply saddened by the events. I cannot begin to understand why someone did this to my great city on such a special day. My heart goes out to the runners and spectators who were injured, and my deepest condolences go out to the families of those who were taken from us too soon.

Today was supposed to be one of the greatest days of my life, and instead I sit here simply sad. I have no other word for it. I am sad. I'm sad for Boston. And, a bit selfishly, I'm sad for myself. I'm sad that I didn't have the chance to become a marathoner.

I'm not a marathoner.

I didn't cross the finish line, and get the medal draped over my head. I ran until mile 25, where I had a breakdown after I was unable to call my family, who was waiting for me at the finish line. Thankfully, they are all safe.

I am not a marathoner.

But I'm ok. And that's what matters. I ran 25 miles on one of the most beautiful days in the world. I received love and support in every facet of my life. I cried when I found out I couldn't finish, and why I couldn't finish, but I ran as far as I could.

I'll be taking a few days away from here to process everything that has happened here in Boston. Please bear with me. I apologize, but it's just so hard for me to articulate my words right now.

34 comments:

  1. you put this beautifully. as a fellow runner who knows the feeling of training and having the accomplishment taken away from you, my heart went out to you after feeling relieved that you were safe. but I just can't imagine what you're going through in it being taken away like it has, or knowing your family was waiting for you where the bombs went off, particularly when you must have already been emotionally drained by the time you got to mile 25. just know that I'm thinking about you and I'm so sorry this happened to you on what should have been one of the best days of your life Alex. you're amazing, and I'm just so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so sorry this happened and so sorry you couldn't finish. I was thinking about you all day and I'm still thinking about you now and I don't even know what to say except for that I'm sending you lots and LOTS of love.

    I'm really glad you're okay though, you AND your family. For that, I am really really grateful.

    XO.



    ReplyDelete
  3. i've been thinking about you all day - i was shamelessly stalking your tracking via the website while i graded homework assignments this afternoon. i am s glad that you and your family are safe and sound, and my heart just breaks for you and everyone there. love you, girl. <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are more of a marathoner than me or anyone else I know, and for that you should be proud.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm so happy that you're OK and so sad that this happened. I was thinking of you all day and tracked your progress via text updates. I am so sad that you couldn't cross that finish line, but you will be a marathoner someday.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm so sorry that this dream was stolen from you. You are amazing and an inspiration. I am proud of you and I know your family and friends are as well.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My prayers are with you. I am glad you are safe.

    Kate from Clear the Way

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are a marathoner to me. You've been such an inspiration to so many of us, and I'm just so thankful that you're safe.

    ReplyDelete
  9. you ARE a marathoner and no one can take that away from you! i'm so glad you're ok. hang in there alex. lots of love!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I agree with everyone above - you are a marathoner! You will get the chance to get that medal around your next one day in the future!

    Cannot believe what is happening in your country. Unbelievable.

    ReplyDelete
  11. If just reading this made me sad, I can not begin to understand the sadness you're feeling. And from a runner's perspective, I get it. It's not the same. I'm just sending you the BIGGEST, TIGHTEST virtual hug you could imagine. I think it's definitely legit for you to feel sad about not having the opportunity to finish the race. Please don't feel guilty about that.

    Grateful you and your family are safe. So grateful. xo

    ReplyDelete
  12. you made it nearly to the end and survived not only the race but the day. you ARE a marathoner!

    ReplyDelete
  13. You are still a marathoner. You most definitely still are. Be proud of your 25 miles -- and so glad to hear you and your loved ones are OK.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I can't stop thinking about you lovey. You are more than allowed to be sad for yourself, but you have to know that you are every ounce a marathoner. I know how much of your heart you've put into this over the last year, and it breaks mine that you don't have that medal. I am so sorry, and I am so proud of everything you've accomplished and for making it to that point. Thank God you are safe and finally home, please call or text if you need ANYTHING. Even just a hug <3

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm so happy you are ok but I completely understand how upset you are as a runner. All of that time, training, planning, etc for that one goal was just taken away from you and it isn't fair. You qualified and you ran you are definitely still a marathoner!! Don't let anyone take that from you!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hello! I read your story on your friends blog and now on yours and I wanted to sat that you are an inspiration! You trained so hard and in my mind, just like your friend said, you finished! I'm glad you made it safe out of there!

    -Vogue&Heels
    vogueandheels.com

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thought of you the whole time. So glad you are safe. So sorry for your experience.

    There are many other runners feeling your sadness. And many more people feeling the sadness of it all in general. Hope you know how much love and support is around you.

    I wish I could be more articulate now too...

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  18. I was so worried about you. I am so glad you are safe, but I am also sad you didn't get to officially finish. I know how hard you worked, and to be so close. . . But you're safe, and you're a beast at 25 miles. Love you with all my heart. Take all the time you need.

    ReplyDelete
  19. you made something suck less and that in itself is a marathon. you will heal and our city will heal. xoxoxo

    (my attempt at levity. I'm so so so glad you and your family are OK)

    ReplyDelete
  20. my heart went straight to you as soon as I heard what happened. I am so sorry for so many reasons. what happened, being so close to finishing, all of it.
    you are strong. i love you. i'm here.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm so sad for yesterday and for you. But know that you ARE a marathoner, and now thats more important than ever.

    Glad you and your family are all safe.

    ReplyDelete
  22. i know i tweeted this to you last night, but you're DEFINITELY a marathoner in my eyes! i'm so glad you're safe and sound!
    xoamy

    ReplyDelete
  23. So glad to hear you are ok. You're the only person I know who was running, or even in the Boston at the time, and I immediatly thought of you and your safety. many thoughts and prayers are going out to you and the city, and the families affected.

    And like others who have commented - YOU ARE A MARATHONER! job well done to you! Be proud, you accomplished something SO many people never will or never could. Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I don't know you personally but you were the only person I knew of who was running. I was watching the race from a rooftop only a few blocks from the finish line when it all happened. What an incredibly heartbreaking day for so many reasons. Glad to hear you and your family are safe, my thoughts are with you as we all try to process this tragic event.

    ReplyDelete
  25. We love you Alex! Just want you to know how much we care and how we are proud of you for those 25 miles!! I'll be praying for you. <3

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh Alex. Thank you for saying so. I actually thought of you when I heard the news yesterday (and we haven't even met). That's what blogging does you. I am relieved you are ok. I'm thinking of your beautiful city and sending well wishes and hugs to everyone. Stay safe friend.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Alex, my heart breaks for you - not because you're not a marathoner, because in my eyes, you are. But because you had to face that fearful moment of wondering if the people you love were okay. I'm so happy that you all are - and I applaud your strength in this post. Stay safe and be well. Xo Jenna

    ReplyDelete
  28. Alex, I found your blog through your Dana Farber page. I'm in NY, so I haven't been home to see you out walking Toby, but I am so glad you are safe. I was thinking about you yesterday all day. Lucy sends big kisses and leg hugs. We are proud of you, and know you would have rocked the race right to the finish line, had the cowards not gotten in your way. Be proud of yourself, too. Hang in there. Margot

    ReplyDelete
  29. I am so glad that you & your family okay and safe. I haven't followed you long so I didn't realize that the marathon you were doing Marathon Mondays was in fact the Boston one! You are a marathoner and a strong one to endure the anxiety and panic. I hope investigators are able to find something to prevent this from happening again. Please don't let this crush your marathoner spirit. I read your posts and you should be still be proud of yourself for making it to the 25 mile mark and preparing as much as you did. Be safe on your return home.

    ReplyDelete
  30. thinking of you girl. i am so glad your family is ok. and... next year! the marathon will be bigger and better than before.

    ReplyDelete
  31. So glad to hear that you're ok! And there's always next year! just qualifying for the Boston Marathon is a huge accomplishment itself! I'll me running my first marathon in June and I don't even expect to be fast enough to qualify. Btw, I've nominated you for a Liebster award. =)

    Maggie
    lovestylehappiness.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  32. I don't know you, but I found your blog through Anna & Colleen's posts about the marathon. What a tragedy. I am so sorry for everything that happened there, and the fact that you and so many runners who had trained for so long had that joy stripped from you. I am so glad that you and your family are okay. Thank you for sharing your story! I am praying for your city as it recovers.

    ReplyDelete

Oh, herro there.

Follow @ Instagram

Back to Top