a post on happiness

Happiness is a strange thing. I feel like sometimes it's there and I don't even notice it. But when it's not there, it feels like a burn in my chest of just thinking why oh why can't i just be happy dammit! So, you can see, it's easy to forget to be grateful for my happiness.
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I've been happier lately than I have been in a long time. I'm never one to shy away from talking about my anxiety. It can run high. It can overwhelm me. It can leave me crippled. It can leave me without hope. But, taking a step back and looking at this year as a whole, I can't really remember a time where I felt strangled with my anxiety.

I've felt good.

And considering the year that I've had, I feel like this is an amazing feat. In years prior, I know that the things that have happened this year, including the marathon and many deaths, would have triggered something just wretched. But here I am. Focusing on the good.

I do believe I owe part of this good mood to Toby. This little ball of energy has saved me in a way nothing else could have. How can things be bad if I come home to a little nugget who is just so happy to see me? How can things stay terrible when Toby licks away my tears? How can I sit and wallow and feel bad for myself when Toby needs to be taken out and needs me? He needs me. And I need him.

I can also be sure that Craig has helped me. While he's never one to let me fall into myself, he understands why I am this way. But he brings out so much good in me. So much love. He makes me the best version of myself. I couldn't ask for more.

So I guess the point of this post is to remember happiness always. Remember it and savor it even when something amazing hasn't happened. When you're just going about your day. Bask in it when things are just going. They're not going poorly, so how could you not be happy?

We're a lucky set of individuals. We deserve happiness.

6 comments:

  1. Toby FTW! :)

    Seriously though, this is a great post and I am glad that you are happy :) Thanks for this reminder we all need from time to time! xoxo

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  2. I'm happy that you're happy. :-)

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  3. I love this and I love you being happy (#obvi). But seriously, really smart and touching words here lady love.

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  4. Awww Alex. This post made ME happy. And I'm so glad you have little Toby and am so happy that you're feeling well! It's truly a blessing when you can recognize what you're grateful for - even in the midst of trying times.

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Oh, herro there.

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