important, serious things

i know i don't normally talk about serious things over here, especially things regarding news, but this is something that i feel needs to be addressed. and, you know, it's my blog and i get to do what i want.
an unrelated photo to this post
if you're in boston, or in the general vicinity, you've probably heard about the jared remy case. earlier this week, he shocked the shit out of just about everyone and pled guilty to the murder of his girlfriend, jennifer martel. you can google to read the real details of the case if you want, but the point is, he admitted he committed this horrendous act. awesome, right? homeboy is going to jail forever. he has no possibility of parole. ever! hooray! score one of the good guys!

but hold up. he also said something else in the courtroom, while admitting his guilt, that struck me as troublesome and weak. he claimed jennifer held a knife in her hand and threatened to take away his daughter, so he killed her. a man, with a very long history of abuse, said his girlfriend (who had her head bashed into a mirror two nights before by remy) crossed a line, so she had to go.

in my opinion, it's 100% inexcusable for him to put any blame on her, a woman who died at his hands. domestic violence is never excusable. there is never a reason to bash someone's head into a mirror, let alone viciously murder her. never. it's cowardly and sick.

to put it bluntly, jared remy is a sick fuck. and it rages me to hear him say those words.

the real crux of this is domestic violence as a whole. it is a huge problem in this country, one that many women (and men! lots of men are also victims of domestic violence!) face on too many levels. and it's not just the two partners who are affected by it. according to some reports, more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes every year. that's not a good number. it's not a happy thought. but it happens more times than you can count. quite literally, because the vast majority of domestic violence goes unreported.

we need to lose the stigma surrounding domestic violence. that the women (or men!) who find themselves at the other end of their partners' fists are too weak, and that's why they're where they are. we need to stop blaming the victims. i've heard far too many times, 'well, she should have just left.' it's not that easy, and the second we realize that, the more help we can provide the victims, and gradually we can turn them into survivors.

i don't have a lot of hard and fast things for you to physically do to help end domestic violence (there's lots of googling for that), but i hope you continue to educate yourselves on this. if someone you know finds themselves in this sort of situation, support them, help them as best you can, and always always love them.

on that note, hug your loved ones. always. and like my sweet sweet friend said during her wedding vows this past weekend, preface each 'goodbye' with 'i love you.'

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