under pressure

this post brought to you by stumptown stubbies. or something.
blogging has become a funny thing. now before anyone starts freaking out (basically my family), this is not my way of telling you all i'm quitting blogging. i'm not quitting blogging. i just ordered new business cards, i can't quit.

back when i started this blog four years ago, i was in a very different place. i was at a job that didn't challenge me creatively, so i took it upon myself to start something to make sure i was still writing and designing. so i started a blog. i found a community here in boston, with people doing the same thing as me: working during the day, blogging on the side. it was great! i made friends, found new blogs to read and was (and still am!) constantly inspired by everyone's dedication.

there weren't a ton of Big Bloggers when i started. it was more of a fledgling field. it was fun.

but slowly, it started turning into a competition. who could have the most readers. the most followers through bloglovin' and google friend connect? who could have the most sponsorship? who could be the most popular on twitter and instagram? who could go go go? who could turn this into a fulltime job first?

to be honest, this is wasn't how it happened with my friends. the people i really know. but it seemed like throughout the blogging community, this was how everyone began to see blogging. a race to the top, but what was the top really? a book deal? a full time job? employees helping you? i can't really tell you. but this race to nowhere turned into something entirely less authentic.

about a year ago, i got really caught up in this race to nowhere. my content turned to shit. and maybe i had more people looking at my stuff, but i got too caught up in my numbers. ahhhh the elusive numbers. i needed to be popular! to have people love me! to get ALL THE COMMENTS. it got really really tiring.

after a while, i realized i was sick of reading shitty content. so why was i putting out shitty content? i got comfortable in my new job and started to remember why i started blogging in the first place. it wasn't to make a ton of money, or to get a million followers, or to be super popular (because i've never really been popular anyway). it was to keep writing and keep being creative.

so that's what we're back doing here at literally, everything. getting back to my roots. blogging has opened many doors for me and introduced me to so many friends and great brands. it's made me a more social person and a woman who is comfortable in her own skin. and i'm eternally grateful to this place that i've created for providing me this outlet.

i don't know if there was much a point to this post or anything, but i hope this has explained what's been happening this past year. blogging is a continually growing field and i'm glad to be part of it. and i'm glad you've all stuck by me. thanks for taking this journey with me.

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