thoughts on running

if you haven't heard the news, i'm running the marathon again. i'm so excited. it's such a fun challenge for me, and i love being able to explore the city through my running routes. plus, i get a lot of time to think about things.

running into a headwind is the actual worst. so bad. so painful. so slow. ugh.

but running with a tailwind is a breeze. please give me all the tailwinds.

am i inherently too grumpy? i think the only time i'm nice to strangers (who aren't dogs) is when i'm running. i smile, and i wave, and i readily say "good morning!" to everyone i pass. any other time? i'm actually a huge bitch. should i change this? do i care enough? who knows?

why do i like bagels so much? because they taste so good. so much bread. and there are so many flavors! savory! sweet! plain! CREAM CHEESE. i love bagels. i need to eat less of them because i'm well on my way to becoming a giant bagel.

but never give up doughnuts. never. ever. for a long time i pretended i didn't like doughnuts because i didn't want to get fat and like why would i do that to myself? doughnuts are amazing.

what do i want to accomplish this year? so much. a thousand things and nothing all at once. but, at the very core, i want to continue discovering who i really am. i think i've put on a facade for quite some time about who i actually am. as a kid i was so uncomfortable with myself, i'd just mold myself to emulate whoever i admired at the time. but in the last 5 years, i've found out i'm really cool. and fun. and i need to be more myself, and surround myself with people who accept me as me and nothing else. that means falling out with some people, and that's ok. it needs to happen. if they're cool enough, they'll still love me for being me, not for fake me.

how has my running changed? in years prior, i'd push my body to the limit. i'd cruise through runs, ignoring what my body was telling me, because i thought that's what a runner did. and maybe some runners do! but i can't. when something feels funny, or i feel an old injury starting to flare in just the slightest way, that means it's time to stop, stretch it out, and then get back on the road. nothing is worth injury.

why am i running the boston marathon again? because i love boston. so much. my love for this city runs so deep, it's so ingrained into who i am as a person. i've loved this city long before bad things happened, and i will love this city forever. my blood, sweat and tears are ingrained in the pavement of this city, and i wouldn't have it any other way.

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