on being present

again again, it's been so long. i've been so busy. and it's not that there aren't things i want to share here, it's that i'm more mindful of being present.
White Mountains Hike
photo by sarah blair wilson
it's very easy to get caught up in screens and everything that's going on outside of what i'm doing. it's easy to take myself out of moments trying to document everything on some sort of screen. it's easy to try to preserve all my memories somewhere instead of just enjoying them.

it's hard to be present, which seems silly. but it's true! it can be so easy to take yourself out of a moment by pulling out a phone, snapping a photo, making a mental note to remember everything because you'll have to write about it later. and while i think there are still instances where this is important (hi, events for businesses i'm passionate about), this isn't how i want to live my life.

someone made a comment to me recently that they knew i was truly happy and enjoying myself because i didn't pull out my phone once. i didn't want to take myself away from anything i was doing by trying to capture it in a frame. and maybe one day i'll look back and be sad i don't have pictures from this thing or that, but i have memories and isn't that even better?

a lot of this feels like incoherent rambling, but it's important that i put this out there. i started this blog nearly seven years ago to document things, and it's evolved past that. it's so nice for me to look back on a lot of memories, but at the same time it can be a little...sad sometimes to relive the little mundane things. so much of my life has changed, especially in the last year, and i haven't documented the vast majority of it. reality hit me in the gut real hard, and i realized how much of my life people have been privy to. and i don't want that anymore. i don't want people to know every last thing about me because it's important to keep some things private and to actually experience life and all of its ups and downs. every tear, every laugh, i need to be present for.

and so, when i'm here, i'm present with you. and when i'm off living life, i'm present there too.

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Oh, herro there.

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