dusting off

i thought my domain was going to expire in september. i got the notification over the summer that it would be happening, and that if payment wasn't set up, it would expire. and i thought to myself, 'maybe it's time.'

but then, for the first time in the eight years i've had this blog, my payment actually processed and my domain was renewed for another year in mid-august. and as the receipt came through i thought to myself, 'i guess it's not time.'

i've thought about walking away from here for years. since things started getting bad. because i wasn't sure if i had it in me anymore to write on the internet when i was falling apart. but i guess that's the beauty of doing this for the sake of doing it, not for my job: i get to decide when i come here. and i get to decide when i need a break.

it's not that i haven't had things to say. i've had so much to say. so many things have happened in my life, so much has changed. but i guess i don't want to share those things in the same way i did in the past. because i'm not the same person i once was.

i started this blog 8 years ago because i was bored at work. i was 22 and not creatively challenged and i made a challenge for myself. and i documented a lot of things, and i think it made a lot of people happy. and it made me happy too, at the time. but now i don't want to do that anymore.

i guess this blog is just going through some growing pains, like we all do. i've found out that i'm not actually an extrovert (like i previously thought) and i'm actually quite introverted, and i'm ok with that. i like working with brands, but i like buying things because i like them so i'd rather do that than wait to see if i can get a ~brand collab~ out of the deal. i like doing things on my own volition, and sometimes that lends itself well to a blog but a lot of the time it doesn't.

life moves fast, and i like to live my life in the moment now, not waiting to recap it somewhere else (here) to kind of relive it.

so i guess what i'm trying to say is this space is here, and i'm not going anywhere. but i will be using this space for a different purpose than i have in the past. and i don't think it really matters much because i honestly would be surprised if anyone actually read this post. but i don't really know what's going to be happening here or how it will evolve, so i guess we'll just take it as it goes.

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Oh, herro there.

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